Moments of conflict are followed by ones of love.
Periods of faltering empty into unprecedented stability.
Nervous doubts transform into blissful moments of just-being.
You are in the flow
and then you’re not.
Things alternate between the 1 and the 2; endlessly, it moves like a pendulum that never stops at either side. The art of Being might just be to discontinue resisting the movement of the pendulum, to go in and out and up and down with it as it swings.
You are an image of the breath of the universe, in and out as the waves come and go. Your breath imitates the swaying of it all– if you sit still and just breathe, your body might remember and you might actually perceive the natural swaying movement of your physical body. Only if you let go of the resistance, the command to “sit still”, you can feel the flow and be it.
So I’m at the point where I am practicing every day. My life feels quite honeycombed with spiritual practice, sometimes saturated even. I acknowledge the significance of little rituals, reminders, of sangat (sanskr.: sangha, referred to in bhuddism as one of The Three Jewels), of routine, of keeping it up sometimes – and then I purged.
I purged all of the beliefs I heard about. I purged the acceptance of religion. I purged the ability to contain my criticism – about prayer, about worship, about language, about beliefs, sacred texts, saints, sangat, practice,
I question it all and I am back to a starting point.
One I haven’t been to before.
it is time to be in sangat – it is time to be alone
it is time to keep up my practice – it is time to transform my practice
it is time to study on – it is time to unlearn
it is time to follow through with plans – it is time to stay flexible
it is time to evolve – it is time to go back to myself.
It’s all the same.
It’s time to live the dualities in order to internalize they are the two sides of the same coin.
Take care of yourself – and let yourself go.
…now go create your own Sadhana and never stop.